Keeping Me Honest: April 2013

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I am a very fortunate human being

I am a very fortunate human being. I am married to an incredibly loving, nurturing, supportive woman. I have two children who are far more intelligent and kind than I could ever expect to have the right to be. I am able to go to work and earn an honest wage at a place whose sole endeavor is to make the world better and healthier, all in the name of education, which I believe is any human’s greatest pursuit. I am surrounded by family and friends who value one another so selflessly and openly. I cannot take this for granted.

Today started with my family joining hundreds of other fellow Tempeans (Is this the proper term? I’ve lived in this town for ten years now and I don’t know for sure, but it sounds right, so…) as we all rode our bikes along a 10-mile route through the heart of our community because we could and because we wanted to. It was a great event that I enjoy because, to be quite honest, I get to feel like a person of some meager importance due to the roles I’ve inhabited at Sophia’s (and formerly Lucas’) school. Other parents from the school who actually do inhabit important roles throughout the city of Tempe recognize me and say hello with a warm welcome because I and my family are a part of this community.

Community. Aside from “Family,” this sense, this notion of “Community” has become quite possibly the most important ideal to me over the past three years. And it’s strange for me as I’ve never been a person who had large networks of friends. I’ve always kind of walked my own path, usually quietly, and typically with a single partner. It just so happens that my wife has been that partner for going on 23 years now. But over these past few years, I have found myself opening up my life’s journey to integrate with other people who directly impact my most precious cargo: Lucas and Sophia.

Three years ago, when I was relieved of my employment as a part of budget cuts, I decided I wanted to pour my time and energies into starting up a bike club at the kids’ school. And there was also this cool project about getting a school community garden built. And then there was helping with fundraising. Suddenly I was embedded in this little elementary school without any real intention to do so. It just happened so naturally but it felt right and I enjoyed the parents and teachers I was interacting with to help out in our children’s lives. Before I knew it, my name was being bandied about as the next president of the school’s PTA – a position I was in no way deserving of but I was honored to be thought of in this way and my own mom filled this role when I was in elementary school so there was this fun symmetry to it all.

At this same time, one of the parents from the school’s community (yes, I am very intentionally trying to weave this word in here a lot) invited me to start writing a regular column for a local newspaper about cycling and bike culture; again a position I was in no way deserving of but I accepted gratefully and began infiltrating the Phoenix cycling scene. I was no longer just some middle-aged punter turning pedals around town and popping in my local shop to exchange pleasantries. I was now a part of the cycling community.

One of my favorite filmmakers is Cameron Crowe. I have long thought that I gravitated to his movies because they really are about these fairly average white American males generally around my age struggling with their identity. Bingo! That’s me. Until these last few years when I realized my identity is in my children and now in my community. And this must be why I am such a stubborn Arizonan. By every perception this place looks like Sucksville USA, yet I know it’s not. My community is remarkable and I am filled with pride to be a part of it and I am flattered that some within it have asked me to fill some small leadership roles within it.

The human experience is difficult. To quote Cameron Crowe, “We live in a cynical world.” As Americans we are raised to be competitive and self-supportive. And yet as humans we need community. I personally believe that it is impossible to survive without it.

And so I return to today, where the day began with this amazing bike event where my family and I interacted directly with friends, acquaintances and other members of our community in a wonderful way. It followed through with a chance encounter with a work acquaintance who I admire greatly at a local store that led to very nice chat and I was able to be introduced to her baby, one of the newer members of our community. Later, our neighbors and dear friends who we have leaned on greatly over the years showed us yet again why we are truly fortunate.

All of this came into focus as I watched tonight’s 60Minutes report about the coalition of parents and family members from Newtown,Connecticut as they looked back on the horrific events of December 14, 2012, and how they go on. The piece largely focused on the very important and very needed gun legislation that they helped push through the Connecticut State Legislature and tomorrow take to Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. But there was a very palpable theme that permeated that group and showed how they as parents and as humans have been able to persevere and why we as humans need to push through the political bullshit that overwhelms what should be earnest policy making.

“We're a part of this community,” said David Wheeler, father of one of the shooting victims. “This is an astonishing community, this town, Newtown. It's an amazing place. And there are a lot of amazing places just like Newtown, all across this country.”